To Adam

Adam,

I am so sorry.

I'm sorry you had to suffer the pain of radiation.
I'm sorry that you had to get this horrid disease at such a young age.
I'm sorry that my mother is hurting over your passing.
I'm sorry that you had to have one of the worst cancers there are.
I'm sorry that you knew your fate was coming.
I'm sorry that I did not get a chance to say goodbye.
I'm sorry for your family and your friends who are heartbroken.
I'm sorry that we will miss your smile and your charm.
I'm sorry that the company will have to live on without you.
I'm sorry that they had to have a service for you today.
I'm sorry that you were in so much pain.
I'm sorry that you had to be on oxygen.
I'm sorry that you spent your last few months fighting and not living.
I'm sorry that my mother will not get to hear your funny stories anymore.

I'm not sorry.

I'm not sorry that I met you.
I'm not sorry that you were a part of my mother's life.
I'm not sorry that the company will close for a day to remember you.
I'm not sorry that you were such a good friend to my mother.
I'm not sorry that you are now pain free.
I'm not sorry that I cried when I thought about your smile.
I'm not sorry that you left a mark on a lot of people's lives.
I'm not sorry that you will be remembered for a long time.

It is raining today. I like when it rains for someone who has passed. It feels like the earth is crying for you. It rained at my Popop's funeral a little. It just felt like the earth agreed that it lost an honorable soul. Today is no different, actually it is raining harder than it did way back in 1993. Adam, I hope that you are ok wherever you are. I hope that you can see how much you meant to everyone and how many lives you have touched. Your story is a tragic one, but you were so much larger than life and your story will change lives. I hope that someday they will find a cure for cancer that doesn't involve radiation. RIP, Adam.