Thursday, January 28, 2010

I Don't Care...

So, recently, I suggested to someone that they shouldn't care what other people think. But I should admit that I am seriously not taking my own advice. When suggesting the idea, I thought why should one person worry about a multitude of other people? It's just not fair. That's just too much to think about. But on second thought, is that being rude? Perhaps the key to being nice is worrying about everyone else and so I (already having been deemed "nice") must worry about saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing and possibly upsetting even one single person out of many many people. But for Pete's sake!!... I think I need to take my own advice sometimes. However... and yes I totally had to throw that in there... I am not keen on rude people and do not ever want to be considered rude, by anyone, anywhere, for any reason. But if you think I'm rude... well I guess I'll have to live with it... because right now I don't care.

Ha, I am starting to think this rambling makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Oh well. Still not caring...

Feels good to say the words "I-don't-care." Kind of like that feeling you get when someone else says something to get a rise out of you and you reply with an indifferent "so?" and it just makes them even more mad at you.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Speak no Evil

Today I have come to the realization that I am not a speaker. Nothing in particular sparked this thought, just a random thought. I think I've known this for a long time but haven't really thought about it until now. I guess I kept thinking that something would change and all of a sudden I would enjoy speaking and the words would just flow effortlessly from my mouth and I would have so much to say and all of it interesting and absolutely everyone would want to listen. In the past I have challenged myself with public speaking and have tried to become an "on-my-feet-thinker," but I am just not cut out for it! I'm sure I could get used to it and become a more eloquent speaker over time, but I know that it is not my calling. It feels good to realize something like this about yourself so fully. I will still tell you that I have no idea what I want to do with my life or who I want to be, but to be able to rule something out helps a little. Perhaps I would be better as a writer... haha. For some reason I think the words come from my fingers faster than from my mouth. I have always told people that I can type faster than I can talk and I truly believe it. There must be a name for something like this... It's a pretty strange phenomenon. dooo doo doo doo... phenomenon... do doo doo doo.... Oh, crap! Not that song!!

Here is Kermit and Sandra Bullock's version:

Friday, January 15, 2010

The Stuff Dreams are Made of = Weird

Did you ever wake up and notice that you've done something odd in your sleep?

Like, for example... you wake up with a sock missing from your foot and it's beside your face. Or you find something bizarre in your bed - that you know was not there last night - like a clothes hanger, sneaker, or a fish net for the tank...

Just weird!

Well, my only explanation is that I'm weird when I'm awake, so it must translate into my dreams somehow....

BTW this post was inspired by some other weirdo this time! This time I didn't do it!! :)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

So Sorry for Haiti...

Suddenly stink bugs touching me or flying at my face do not seem so threatening. They are just bugs.

I actually read the news today and looked at the pictures that I was able to look at. I quickly looked away from the ones with a lot of blood or visible injuries. Sometimes I think my empathy is so deep that I can feel the pain from the wounds of a person in a photo. It's just too much to bear. This is why I try to stay away from the news. Especially the news about a catastrophic event... This kind of thing weighs too heavy on my heart. I literally feel like there is a huge weight on my chest and I have a hard time breathing.

I know saying I'm sorry doesn't do much for the people of Haiti and that is why I will continue to donate to the agencies that are over there now doing something. I am so grateful that we have these agencies in place and ready to go. I am amazed at how these agencies or people rather can just be there to fix what's broken. Even if they are not able to provide half of what is needed, they get in and just do with what they've got. I think this gives hope as well as the help itself.

Monday, January 11, 2010


Coming soon...

Photoshop is in the mail and I will finally be able to create my neon mouse logo. Can't wait!!

Ebay Sniper

Ebay is addicting. Bidding is addicting. It feels good to be the top bidder. Then you get into bidding wars and you try to outbid at the last minute by 50 cents - you try to be the bidding sniper. It's crazy. Then when you win... you feel satisfied. Only you aren't really winning, you are merely paying more for an item than what someone else would pay for it. Then you have to wonder if the item was really worth it. Who knows where the item has been and if there is any damage to the item. You have a few far away and blurry pictures of that item to show you a general idea, but nothing concrete. You start to wonder if may have been a bad idea to try to be the top bidder. Then you find another interesting item on ebay and start bidding on it. You totally forget about the regret that started to sink in from the previous item. You feel satisfied once again that you've won. Then you realize that what you are winning is costing and you the money you've spent is starting to pile up. Crap! You have to stop. This is so addicting. Oooooh, you got positive feedback for hastily paying for an item in which you have very little idea of the condition. Ha, ok... I think I'm done with ebay for a while. I was trying to get positive feedback so that I can start selling a few things. I hope I haven't spent more than what I'll get for the items I'm selling...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Oh, It's On!

The war against the stink bugs is totally on! Those things are UGLY!!

I don't know what it is with me and bugs... I try very hard to like them because I know they are a part of nature and I have a deep love of nature and of almost all living things. I do not kill bugs if I can help it because I do not find reason in killing any living thing that is just trying to survive, plus I feel that it would give me bad karma. Although, I can somehow justify generously taking them outside to freeze to death naturally.

Anyway, I find stink bugs (among a few other bugs - ok most other bugs) to be incredibly ugly. And for some reason because I think they are ugly, I do not want them to touch me and I do not want to touch them. As long as they respect this wish I am fine with them minding their own business.

But they don't mind their own business!!! And when they start CRAWLING on MY LEG while I am on the phone with the water company and can only scream silently... all bets are off! I didn't kill the thing and I'm sure it's still crawling around the house somewhere, but it's probably a bit shaken. I was NOT going to tolerate that nonchalant crawling on my thinly clothed skin behavior.

Come on!!! I only request that you don't TOUCH ME!!! Don't fly at my face, don't crawl on my arm, don't get tangled in my hair, and while you are at it...don't even look at me!

Ok, I realize that there is no logic behind my not wanting a bug to touch me, and I'm not quite sure what brought on this irrational fear but I am working hard to squash this fear - yes pun definitely intended. .....I have a feeling that this will be a slow work in progress.....

Me = 1 for not screaming while on the phone, stinkbug = 1 for not being ground into the carpet.