Wednesday, April 8, 2009
As an older sister I am always feeling the urge to protect my brother. Even though he is an adult and he can certainly take care of himself, I still see him as the little boy in day care who begged me not to go to school and leave him at the babysitters. He didn’t get along with that particular babysitter and I had to leave him in tears on a few occasions. It was heart breaking and even as I watch him in his struggles now, I still see that tear stained face looking up at me asking me for help. I’m not exactly sure why I feel the need to protect him and I’m sure he doesn’t really want or need to be protected. Sometimes I wonder if the guilt of not having been able to help him then pushes me to try to help him now. I guess I feel that maybe I can spare him some of the struggles I’ve been through by sharing my experiences and what I have learned from them. I don’t like to see him hurt. What’s even more surprising is that my brother and I don’t always get along. Probably from my need to make sure he is ok. It may seem controlling to him. My mother has yelled at me for this for years, but I think that it is just part of being an older sibling. As an older sibling you want to protect the younger ones and make sure that things are ok. What’s funny is that we are not that far apart in age, but I still feel the urge to help him. Now I am slowly learning to keep my distance and let him come to me. If he needs me, he knows where I am.