Sunday, March 22, 2009

Mama Disapproves

An acquaintance of mine just got engaged. Before proposing, he went to her parents to ask permission for her hand in marriage. Dad said yes, mom said no.

If this were back in the 50s, I'm sure that would not be a problem...what dad says goes. But today, what do you do? What if her mother refuses to go to her wedding? What if her boyfriend decides that he needs everyone to be in full support? Does it matter what her mother thinks if my friend is happy and in love? Will her mother's voice constantly be in the back of her head telling her that this is a bad decision?

The gesture of asking permission seems a bit outdated to me. I find it romantic and an extremely nice gesture, but with how society is just doesn't seem to fit. When women are becoming more independent and living on their own and doing things for just seems so odd for a man to have to ask for a woman's hand in marriage. It seems that the woman is independent enough to give herself away. Don't get me wrong, I understand the sentimental value of it all. I just don't understand what you do when you are fully independent and capable and a parent says no. They are still your parents, but you've been making other decisions for yourself... ??? This one has me frazzled.

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